A paid,renewable membership endowed with a lifetime of stupidity!

What is a website ??

-a location connected to the Internet that maintains one or more web pages.

What is  matrimony?

-the state of being married; marriage.

What is a matrimonial website.

- A brainchild(a bit of an exaggeration,but whatever)of a CS enthusiast and a defaced astrologer of the 90's.

Before the troll begins, let us try to focus on the possible sane explanation for the origin and the seemingly exponential,strong legacy of this ridiculousness. Oh! Wait, that is a catch-22 situation in itself, let us begin the troll!

If you caught a person off-guard and gave him/her the following set of information, what would a sane person guess?

• Name-
• Age
• Background-..
• Height :..
• Weight- ...
• Job - ...
• Salary - ...
• Interests - ...
• Achievements - ..
• Languages spoken-

There is a possibility that the answer might revolve around a job profile, higher studies, maybe for an entry into Sumo Wrestling Championship...maybe!

But look at this

• Eating Habits(just to be sure that it is not Hannibal)
• Smoking habits(Just to verify that it is a human and not a chimney)
• Dosham(If you have learnt Sanskrit probably you would think of this as a misspelling for Dosa in Sanskrit)
• Gothram( Batman fans, no it is not Gotham!!)
• Star/Raasi(Just look at the spelling on that!..probably they were wondering if they would find a match who is from the same insipid, gormless universe as theirs which has that star)
• Family values(Clearly #Sanskaari)
• Family type( Well! if one voluntarily signs up for such insanity then probably a stark stupid one!)
• Ancestor/Origins-(What if they have descended from Hyenas instead of  Apes, the dowry would probably be a little less)
• Father's income( I mean, why not?..let us tow the line)
• Mother's income( Oh my God! they are so advanced, they do take mothers to be breadwinners. I mean(slow claps!)
• No. of brothers and Sisters( See, why blast bijli when you can fire up  the entire chain of crackers! yay! festive time)
• And who asks whether they are looking for someone with Dosham, I mean...why??
• Professional preferences (Annual Income + Branch)-- Because Google hires people with 7. odd CGPA,..let us give them all  chance)

Phew! That was a lot, but let me warn you, it is not exhaustive!

While it maybe a lot of fun, just stumbling upon such websites and trolling them, on a serious note, there are a lot of people who have fallen prey to this and the most sad part is that  they enter the trap voluntarily..and while some are happy staying trapped there for life( or after life(well for some #Sanskaaris))..some end up regretting this life long and end up spreading toxicity about this institution.

So, look out people,look out for that one nash,impostor with a humongous Coursera subscriptions but a Sanskaari heart!

(Just joking! Not generalizing...But do keep a watch!)

-All in good humor!

In the prime of change.

When the festive spirit dies, the exam fever kicks in! Within a month all schools and colleges would

 be commencing "preparatory" examinations for the upcoming board examinations(if you didn't 

know, it is one of the "turning points " in our lives and for all those who have already turned without

 feeling an iota of difference then probably you are  too cool for that or one of the most 

impressive impostors of our times) and to showcase our improved mindset as a progressive nation, a 

new fad has dawned upon our motherland's greatest thinkers(or businessmen);'What after 12th? fairs'.

Here,  the answer is pretty obvious(Apologies if this remark sounds retrograde) that it is 

pretty much Engineering(A universally known hierachy: IITs,NITs,Renowned local colleges.),The 

Medical Sciences(I guess AIIMS, KIMS,KMC and then(thinking) never mind!!), Commerce(),The 

pure sciences(IISc,IIITs,TIFR).But, just in case one's family happens to stumble upon and tumble into 

one of these fairs(you know, just for a weekend outing!) then you would spot  a lot of euphoric kids 

swarming and  an equally confused lot of rueful parents (wishing that The Eternal Sunshine Of The 

Spotless Mind concept was true) but that doesn't go to say that there aren't any families supporting  

the "quirky" derailment of their children's ambitions but the point is such families would  most  

probably not attend such fairs in the first place. So, basically such events( although with a good 

intention) turn out to be a hurricane showstopper in the educational dailies, a roller-coaster ride for 

most of the patrons and a true game changer for a few.

So, what exactly is the loophole in this entire idea? Well, as a person who has been through that 

phase, I personally feel that such events should be held a long way before the "turning point" and not 

at a point where you have turned 180 degrees and there is fire if you turn back and a seemingly 

innocuous whirlpool if you turn ahead or one should be well equipped with asbestos and a Battleship 

before one begins the Turn!!. So, the next time you hear about one if these fairs, look back, think 

ahead and  decide for the present.

Good luck to all!(Age no bar)

SADist.

'The school announces prize money of Rs.10,000 for the top three rank
holders in the board exams.’,this announcement sends the toppers into
an exhilarating fit and the underdogs into a miasmatic frenzy,the cool
kids though , stay impervious. Now, such incentives are not bad per
se, but there is this one huge problem swivelling around it, the
impediment of a poor,myopic motivation.If only anything, such a
notice sends a wrong although “well intended” message through the
minds of the students and it gives a false sense of confidence to a few
and deprives of what little confidence the rest of them have. Now this
is one of those “stepping stones to success” which must be avoided
but unfortunately has been gaining steam.
Our country, being the biggest democracy is sadly a sheep following
the false ideology of partisan responsibility.Let us, for example take
the energy crisis; it is true that a solution to this problem rests in the
arena of a scientific mind but it would be utterly wrong to assimilate
and propagate the notion that it is solely their responsibility.
Population explosion is one of the major reasons why this problem
has aggravated. And it is the duty of political leaders, socialists and
every educated soul to endorse,propagate and help educate all the
strata of our society about the current scenario and the horrors the
future holds for us if the danger is not quelled.It is important to realize
that just finding an alternate source of cleaner,safer and cheaper
energy isn’t going to solve the problem in the long run if the
population witnesses an exponential growth and the responsibility
rests on all of us and not just a few.
A job market faces unpredictability when there is disproportionate
concentration of workers. This stems from the biased notion
acquainted with certain jobs being prospective which basically is a
ramification of a poorly educated, ignorant,quenched mind racing
towards a mirage. And being a witness and a victim and a deceived
patron of such a half-baked scheme,it is the root of all these problems
i.e the quality and intention of education that worries me the most as
an Indian, a land of intellect and culture.

Riddikulus!

 Advertising is a way of drawing people's attention towards your product,a contrivance in some(well!most)cases, with sporadic cases of genuineness and an amusement in certain other cases!
But, once it crosses a certain line that light amusement turns ridiculous.

Fairness creams have been in the soup for so many valid reasons but what amuses and some times irritates me is the backdrop of the ads.I was watching TV yesterday and the ad came up; a bunch of girls walking through a street and then this truck comes up spewing cacophonous amounts of smoke onto their face, and any sensible person would think(issued in public interest:please get emission tests done on your vehicles regularly) but no! it is an ad for a fairness cream(face-wash, something)!
I mean pollution is on the rise and complexion  is all you are worried about!!

Then, there was this other ad, where querulous mothers are brooding over how their kids badger them for junk food and then there is this solution that by using a certain toothpaste, mommies can be relieved that their kids teeth are all hale and hearty(dentists:face-palm) and fine, I can make peace with that, but then comes this tag line-' Now, I am secure as a mother!!' What does that even mean??
How does using a certain toothpaste boost one's morale??

Then there are detergent ads which says,a wash just like your mom's work! I mean, come on, what are you implying??Indirectly it hints at and endorses the perpetual notion that washing clothes is a mom's work, at least they could have attributed this to the efficiency of a washing machine, makes sense!

These are just some of the ridiculously charming ads we come across daily!
Next time you see such a boggart, remember to shout out Riddikulus!

                                                     Comic Boomlet!

Hulk,Batman,Iron-Man,Oh wait! Spider-man,Superman, Supergirl, Catwoman let us squeeze in add-ons say,Hawk-eye,Colonel Rhodes,Black Widow. Fine, here are the run of the mill sobriquets we all as humans belonging to this generation are well acquainted with and although some of the aforementioned "super heroes" are absurd or probably depicted so(Superman's gaffe until Man of Steel released.Ugh!!, then the mind numbingly preposterous,anti-climactic end to The Dark Knight trilogy which couldn't be masked by the mellifluous and liberating sound track and now Batman v/s Superman!KMN) most of us preferred watching them multiple times to watching a movie like 'The Vow' or Oh no! that one example is enough!!.

I thought, maybe after this there would be more sequels,spin offs,collaborations and stuff, but no!! there was Ant-Man and whom did they cast? Paul Rudd! Sure, Feynmann said "There is plenty of room at the bottom" and then the  comics was revolutionised about three years later!! Ta-da...Ant-man.
(No offence to all the fans out there but Garfield would have made a better super hero!!) But, this seemed to be tobogganing ,Ant-man the movie!!(lol). And what is new?? nothing, nothing at all, I mean come on, if there were ever to be make a movie on Supandi or Shikari Shambu  and let us say it released along with something like.. 'Ant-Man v/s Terminator -Termite' , the odds definitely favour the latter!!.

Now, let us decode the movies made so far in this genre(not the comics, the movies) . The algorithm seems to be this
while(1)
1) The soundtrack and a collateral display of the franchise names, the director blah blah...
2)A narration,like from the Intelligence Bureau interrogating one of the accomplice or from the newsreader saying that so and so place was attacked by supposedly such a kingpin (and in the case of Transformers franchise, it is Optimus' techno-babble)
3)They show the hero's house, he/she is alone, (a recluse basically) in his/her room listening to the news or pondering over something.
4)Then the villian comes, ruffles some feathers, threatens,assaults the near and dear ones but never manages to move a hair on the better-half!
5)Folks are surprised to find the "hero" out of the cocoon ,
6)Hero saves people by flying,jumping,riding.
7)Something uneventful and personal happens and the odds are against him/her.
8)The better half leaves him/her after a cursory session of advice on family, dignity and lovee(yes double 'e')!
9)The disconcerted hero flies to his cave. and goes into hiding only to be found by his/her sidekick and hence exhorted to return to save the "world" because apparently the villian is lighting fireworks instead of matchsticks and this has heavily influenced the media to an extent that, that is the only news across!
10)(basically this is a VLSI Soap Opera!!) Then, the hero meets the villian somewhere on the top of a building, in a deserted house or  in space where the better-half(only) is held hostage, and then there is a brief exchange of reproach, an insight into the villian's past, a brief moment(here 90s or more) of silence and then somehow the hostage's neurons fire up and he/she succeeds in grabbing free.
11)An inevitable physical(compulsory ,about 15-20 min,)combat and moment occurs where you feel that, yes, there is logically no reason why the hero should survive the attack and then
12) The sidekick or the police force arrives out of thin air, saves the hero, kills, captures or is too dumb to get hold of the villian!
13) A felicitation ceremony back in the city, the love birds reunite, bury the hatchet!
14)A boom of soundtrack to end it!
15)Credit roll or foreshadowing of the villain's reconnaissance!
16)(this step has never been STOP) Continue,step 1, with slight change in cast, title and
17)BAM , you have got yourself a sequel and a Housefull theatre,cash enough for another sequel or assylum! Your choice!

Celebrating the not so distant release of Batman v/s Superman!! and the success of Ant-man!! (get it?)

                                 Why reservation system is outright ridiculous!!

A meritorious student from a middle class family with both parents retired gets no concession or economic considerations on a 50k fee for a course, while a reserved category student has to pay 10k and then apply for scholarship so that the student is reimbursed.This is downright preposterous.The so called "aid to bridge the hiatus in the society" is being compensated by extortion  from the meritorious students. This is highly unacceptable,but there is nothing we can actually do about it.
While this injustice continues, the rich keep getting richer and the so called "poor" fly across the economic gap and land in the financial havens, while the middle class people keep taking the onus and their condition deteriorates.

I say there should be sensible and logical premise for  such concessions, a detailed financial check up should be done; if there are students who genuinely cannot afford to pay the capitation fee then such people should be supported, a 4 or 5 year insight should be logically implemented and an informed decision should be taken as to who is to get the aid and who doesn't rather than going by sheaves  of certificates that claim so.

I know that there will be an end to this demeaning,unfair treatment but I just do not want that to happen once hell freezes over!!

The "educated" Indian

India, the diverse,culturally flamboyant land of intellectuals ;a land of

notable,renowned savants graced by the birth of Tagore,Ramanujam,JC

Bose,Mother Theresa to name a few.And it is tacit that ours is a strivingly

progressive nation.We have always endeavoured to meet global standards in

terms of economy,defense,not to mention population.And today's youthful

masterminds behind commendable achievements of companies like

Google,Yahoo,Apple form one branch of the economical dichotomy while

organiztions like Infosys,Flipkart showcase indigenous talents on the global

platforms.Yet, a reform in a much more wider,tangible sense hasn't been

witnessed in our country.While people play blame games with props like

corruption,population explosion,retrograde mindsets,sexism so on and so

forth,it isn't realised that this is mere listing of symptoms rather than

addressing the source.

We all want modernization,urbanization,development,infrastructure without

knowing the nitty gritties of our longing.People have become more "educated"

and informed and this mirrored in the "rational","informed" discussions

palatable for a light hearsay or a slurring debate and then it is back to

square one.How can we,literally we as responsible citizens (and not mere

perfunctory machines lugging at an MNC,travelling on this illimiatable train

of job,marriage,reproduction,death with sporadic cases of

hypocrisy,irresponsibility,failure and a pitiable success rate otherwise) have

surprisingly never been the question of epiphany.Though we have been proximal

to the answer to all our nation wide predicament and  that is education, we

have never had a holistic,uniform approach to tackling it and with certain

"reforms" all we have done is feinted.

And success doesn't come as ex gratia by electing a new leader or by migration

or by reproach.No heavenly creature will shower boonupon us pitying our

delirium, and no external party can help us recuperate from this abysmal

impediment we are  ensaring ourselves in.What we need is an antidote to

approach this problem of pseudo education at a very nascent stage.We need to

realise that there is no uniform code for educational reformation;we cannot

borrow bits and pieces from other nations and expect every thing to fit in

like a jig-saw puzzle.

Our nation is unique and strong in its own way,we have an extremely large

population and the amount of intellectual and manual labour we can extract

from this humongous number is very reassuring.'Make in India' is a heralding

of a great hope, but it needs sallying.We produce lakhs of engineers,doctors

every year, but where is the output reflected?.What we need is the

proclamation of 'Stay in India.',we need a strong persuasion for the youth, a

hope,a vision that assures the citizens that there are ways in which we can

succede and rule the roost by staying in here and contributing rather than do

the same thing abroad, and this doesn't happen in a fortnight.We need

egalitarianism,yes we do,but not in oxymoronic ways like reservation and

stratification.18 years is a long time but it has lost its earmarked purpose

years ago and still we are meandering about the same issues.It does hurt the

morale of a meritorious person if he/she doesn't get admission into a

particular institution because of the cut-off, while his friend who is

financially  well off but deemed economically inferior on paper,gets the

preposterous privilge!!.If the aim is truly to abridge the social gap,then

policies such as financial support, and fee waver should be done reasonably

and enforced at a very early stage so that it isn't a burden on any stratum of

our society.

Promotion of other fields of interest such as arts,sports etc as a career path

and not just a hobby should be done in a true sense, by providing scholarships

and financial support and kindling interest, and not just on paper.We need to

delve deep into a child's interests and strengths at an early age and nurture

it so that education per se doesn't become a burden and monotony.While Mary

Kom is an immensely succesful and respected  face of India in the world of

boxing,credit has to be endowed to Priyanka Chopra,Omung Kumar and the team of

'Mary Kom' for channelising and aggrandizing the outreach to a larger segment

of people.

Edcuaction is something that cannot be vouched for by a mere certificate and a

six figured  salary,and this is something every truly educated person will

understand.We do not need lakhs of students with engineering degrees

graduating every year when they do not know how a spark lighter works, we need

a rather passionate,diverse,informed set of members who can perform as a team

to upraise our stature on the global platform.This can happen only when we

realise the true value and meaning of education and it doesn't help if we

realise this on our death beds, bidding farewell to mortality and potential

contribution, we need this imbibed in the minds of the young and curious.We

need to make sure that once they learn their words, they do not return to

unfathomable,uninformed,uneducated babble.

Blinding View!!
                                                                      (Sexual crimes)
                                         

Sex,gender is something which no Tom Dick and Harry decides,it is a natural ,unassailable
trait every breathing nit of our wonderful planet bears.
When a child 's breath first  pullulates through this heterogenous fixture of life and death
it  embarks upon a new itinerary, a new bud to be groomed into a torch bearer for the betterment of
humanity,a  luciferous sweven in the eyes of it's parents and a solitary heir of their
microcosm.


This naivete infused bud that is thirst for knowledge,bliss and power when thrust tangentially from  the humane purpose of life,
ascends upon the thorns of despicableness,discrimination,monopoly and cynicism which not only ruptures the edifice of mankind but
is abysmal in the true face of nature's balance and so  the birth of chauvinism(nee sexism).
A slight trigger of  discrepancy in nurture and environent sets up an unhealthy inoculum  for certain  segments of our society to lead a life of subservience
and obsequiousness and to pass on this legacy of innate and inane sense of "gender policing" which on an ex-post facto basis leads to judgemental
and biased takes on a democratic and political correctness of people and their whereabouts.


And  when this hiatus deepens into a huge gorge,there is an outbreak and chaos,no doubt ,but it is of a very weak intensity barely able
to reach the larynx and the strike the vocal chords to be strong ad vociferous as to strike terror in the heart of right-wing bigots.This ancient
and cancerous parasite has been symbiotic with the chauvinistic and patriarchal attitude of the global community sporadic with cases
of gigolo mafia and matriarch sects being born and hitting the bucket quick and easy and vanishing under the abysss.
And with such multitudinous loopholes displaying inbound camaraderie with one another,there is absolutely no wiggle room for the
conducive and salurious environment for the incubation of healthier and mitigative beings in  this world.

And when such is the condition ,how can any individual good or bad,male or female expect a right judgement and fast conviction in
cases of sexual crimes;when the internal system  itself is so perturbed and corrupt how will any sprucing and tweaking of the external appearance
ever be able to unmask and take to task the supercilious and the chauvinist?.
This is a direct and lucid indictment not of our failing implementation of laws but something more rudimentary,something that is hazy
to a parent after the birth of their child,something that is far beyond reach of a man who is dousing all his money on a bar dancer,
that very thing a rapist fails to perceive when he is subjecting the victim to torture and the very same moent when he realises the gravity
and heinousness of his act while  lighting the  funeral pyre  of his victimised daughter.

But then,of what purpose are all these epiphanies?When those deeds can't be undone,when the lost can't be got back,and the most blood-
curdling one,when you desperately wish you were never born......and you are holding a new life, ready to step into this world..in your
very,HUMAN hands....